Waking Agent Ward
by Kitty O
Summary: Based on the trailer for "Yes Men". Several ways the team might wake up Agent Grant Ward. One of them is cognitive recalibration. Oneshot. Bus family. Canon pairings.


**A/N: Just me having fun. Several things that could totally happen next episode. Don't know which ones I want to happen. They all sound so great. Largely based off the trailer shown at the end of the episode.**

**Tw: mentions of rape in part VII**

* * *

I. The Power of Love

May and Ward were propelled through the glass, and landed lying right next to each other on amid the shattered pieces.

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

May went to move, but Ward caught her. When had he gotten so fast? "No, Ward," she choked.

He growled and went to fire again, but there was definite hesitation in his eyes. May could tell. If they were up and fighting, she could have used that moment to kill him.

"Ward," she repeated. "You don't want to do this."

"I do."

"You don't. Why would you shoot? We're friends, Ward; we're…" Well, nevermind that.

He looked as though he were in pain. She thought about punching him out, but held fast.

"Grant," she said. "I'll let you protect me this once."

He sat up sharply, let out of yelp of pain, and stuck his head into his hands. It was enough. He'd dropped the gun. May suddenly could breathe.

* * *

II. The Power of Friendship

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

May swallowed, and his finger twitched on the trigger before a high voice rang out. "Ward!"

They both looked p, and there was Simmons, with her hair tied back and her face red.

Ward snarled. "Not now. I'll deal with you next."

May's heart thudded in rage. Like hell he would.

"Why, you busy?" asked Simmons.

Ward looked at her briefly. His hand didn't twitch. May couldn't get him.

"Too busy to talk to a labrat? Think I'll need to be saved again?" She laughed good-naturedly. "Oh, is it because…" She struck a bent-over pose, elbows out, face all contorted like she was ill. "'I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I would do anything to serve and protect Lorelei. Stay back, peasants!'"

He twitched, but didn't cave. Still – was that a smile. "I don't do that?"

"Do too. Oh, and Fitz said you parachute like a girl."

"What?" He was fighting. May tensed. He rose, but the gun was still trained on her.

"Also, Operations suck."

That did it. He was laughing. When May snatched the gun out of his hand, he didn't even notice.

"Simmons," he gasped. "Tell Fitz I'm gonna kick his… his…" He had to sit down.

* * *

III. The Power of Surprise

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

May looked back at him cooly. "I think we should break up."

"What?" When he blinked, his dazed eyes went clear with surprise.

* * *

IV. The Power of Surprise 2

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

"AAAIEEEE," Fitz said, as he slammed into the scene and landed on top of Ward, smashing the agent's head into the ground. Ward understandably lost his grip.

Fitz took a deep breath and looked at May. "Cognitive recalibration," he said.

* * *

V. The Power of Awesome

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

"No, I am," she said, kicking him and grabbing for the gun. She then proceeded to thoroughly beat her lover to a pulp.

* * *

VI. The Power of Metal

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

May swallowed, knowing death was a second away. Turned out, death was a second too slow – couldn't beat Fitz with a shovel. But Fitz could beat Ward with the shovel.

BAM!

"Sorry, sorry," Fitz whispered, hefting the shovel again. Ward was out cold, and thus didn't answer. "He's gonna kill me when he'd over trying to kill you," Fitz said to May, offering a hand up. She declined.

"All the same," he admitted, "that felt good."

* * *

VII. The Power of Grouchiness

"I'm sorry about this," he said, holding his gun to her throat.

"You see, Melinda," Lorelei said from the center of the room. "He'd die for me. He'd kill for me. I've finished the process with that one. He's mine completely."

"How'd you manage that?" May wasn't going to ask. It was Skye who did. She was still missing the bottom half of her shirt, and her hair wasn't brushed. She'd obviously just dragged herself out of her sick bed.

"You're not supposed to be up," Ward said, and May stared in shock to see him speaking on his own. They were still laying upon the floor.

Skye ignored him and looked at Lorelei. "I've been praying for tractable Ward for months. What did you do to get him so completely?"

Lorelei smirked. She obviously felt like bragging, but Skye didn't look beaten. May noticed. The Asgardian didn't. "Well, if you've been wondering about your comrade's sexual prowess, I can report that he is skilled enough."

Skye's lips thinned. "You raped my S.O.?"

Lorelei tossed her hair.

Both May and Ward flinched when the night-night gun went off. Lorelei got the full blast of it, but she was Asgardian, and it didn't knock her out. It _did_ disorient her long enough for Skye to storm across the room, picking up a blade and a gun on the way, dropping the non-lethal one she already held. It should be mentioned here that Skye's clothes were already bloodstained, and she looked like one scary piece of hell in bare feet. Lorelei was against the wall with a gun to her head and a knife to her throat in just about a second.

This time, Skye's voice was dark and low. "You. _Raped_. My S.O.?"

The Asgardian opened her mouth to call out to Ward.

"Shut up," said Skye. "If he moves, I'll blast your brains out and slit your throat. I don't care if its overkill." Lorelei made the mistake of struggling. Skye got so close that their bodies were pressed together. "Sweetie, I'm not kidding. If he moves, or you moves, I'll kill you."

Lorelei stopped. Her next try, as Skye had guessed it would be, was to turn on that bedroom stare. "Rage," she said. "I like rage."

"I'm not that gay, Lorelei. Now. Is killing you the only way to wake him up? Answer."

May's position was becoming uncomfortable. Ward was staring at Lorelei with horror, but he didn't dare move. His gun was still pointed at May, and she didn't want to disturb him yet.

When there was no answer, Skye's knife went down the Asgardian's arm, and Ward made a noise like a wounded puppy. "Answer."

A grunt. "I can release him."

"Do so."

"Never."

The trigger finger twitched.

Ward's hand went slack, and he shook his head as though his ears had popped.

"Skye!" Melinda May snapped. "I think he's awake."

"Good," Skye said, and pulled the trigger. "Night-night point two is so much stronger," she commented as Lorelei collapsed. Skye threw the gun away and turned around to see May helping Ward to his feet. Skye pointed at Ward and narrowed her eyes. "This time, robot, I'm making Coulson make you see a therapist." She started to sway.

"Skye?" May asked, stretching a hand out.

Skye let the knife fall and nearly followed it. "I need to lay down."


End file.
